Sorry for the late response; been busy with work, kiddos, and life just gets in the way doesn't it. Still dealing with some issues in my own piecing sitch too. And boy, when I'm truggered, the PTSD kicks in and I feel this complete visceral response. Safety! Attack! Sometimes the brain and body just can't align. My small daily triggers are fading--those little reminders eveywhere--but when I get into it with H, i can really I lose my $hit. I feel like I turn into the alien now! This is why I keep saying again and again, keep focusing in YOU, take care of YOU, because if they come back, It won't just be easier! You gotta be healthy and strong to tackle this business.
So, did I expose my H's A? Well I didn't have to because those two dummies got caught red handed and we live in a small town and know all the same people. Sigh. So they had developed this "friendship" behind my back and I guess H just justified it by 1. it was not physical so it's not an A, and 2. rewriting histriry, I don't appreciate him, he deserves his own friends, blah, blah, blah. So when it blew up and I realized they were hanging out, I FLIPPED my lid! I was a hysterical mess! So what did he do? Ran. And then of course I cried, begged, guilted him some more, and what did he do? Ran further!
And who was in the backround waiting and pursing??? Ding, ding, ding! OW. So after we separated, the EA went to PA and they had a full blown (all rocky and drama) R for about a year. I am pretty sure many people were on to them. I know many that know still. And I heavily relied on my family and fiends for support. I def told too many people, but I was such a mess at the time. So, they were further isolated and I think that's why they clung so tight.
I have to run, but I want to revisit and share my thoughts on the nice guy syndrome (for lack of a better term). I think that had everything to do with how H got to this point and how I had no idea my "wonder, perfect, nice guy" H was silently suffering and checking out.
-Blu
“Forgiveness liberates the soul. It removes fear. That is why it is such a powerful weapon.” – Nelson Mandela
