It must be tough to see yourself starting again. It is a long slog.You know what you want. You have a coach and a MC, plus this forum.YYou are well armed for this battle/war.
My W has said similar stuff to a friend. Like you I am not supposed to be aware of that. My W has never ever expressed this to me. Maybe they don't fully believe it, maybe it is true. People need safe places to let out their feelings. We have here. Try not to dwell on this until she brings it up. That may never happen.
So what are your short term goals?
Best wishes
R 25 years M 14 years S11 & S13 Working on it alone since Oct 2014 M in trouble a lot earlier (~2 years) Feb 2016. 1st R chat in a yr. Next R chat Aug'17 Still together