the road goes ever on and on...

[Zues126]

Thank you V, and thank you Sunny. I post less and less, but while the role of the forums in my life may be overall a bit less, the joy I get from our shared time only becomes richer.

Painter, thank you for your reply. So spot on. And it's a good reminder about not being able to legislate feelings. You're all right, it is complicated and there is no pretty way that is going to be absolutely optimal for every situation. And there is no way to divorce that isn't devastating emotionally, financially, and in terms of destroying the lives we wanted for our children and the time we share with them.

It keeps bringing me back to why I am so adamant divorce in general is wrong, but even Zues here will admit that even that isn't black and white as you can't legislate morality and there are times when people need to protect themselves from a truly destructive situation. And while everyone that files makes that claim and the vast majority don't understand the commitment it takes in a marriage and are just cheaterpants (was it Ahoy that used to say this? ), you have to make provisions for those that need that protection.

I realize that I am still feeling some resentment towards the world. I sometimes feel that as a culture we've disapproved of some social structures so we tore them down, but we failed to replace them with something better. The result is just chaos. It didn't start in the 60s but the hippies were a great example. They picketed Viet Nam and wore tied dyes instead of ties, and said 'hey, man, this system [censored]!' But 20 years later they were in corporate jobs driving beamers because they realized that the societal structure was there for a reason, it was a way we could provide for children, couple up, and meet most of our needs. Whereas sex/drugs/rock&roll isn't necessarily an improvement.

But my dad and mom were both true hippies. And my sister today is a nationally renowned (has used an alias name for over a decade) spokesperson for the revolutionary communist party, fighting against the patriarchy and oppression against women, pro-choice rights, fighting against the war, and frankly fighting against our capitalistic society. And I can see that a lot of change was needed, and is still needed.

So on the one hand I'm like 'Hey, world, great job, you've torn everything apart, and now we're all pissed off and nothing's working because we're all beating to different drums and no one can agree on anything anymore.' Which leads me to think, which is worse, having one form of social indoctrination that can be discriminatory and cultish at times, but also provides coherence and stability, or a culture in which nothing works but we are all free to choose our own part in the anarchy? Is there a balance in which we have some structure provided to encourage lasting relationships and permanent families for our children?

Tough questions for sure.

My dad is back from his hiatus in Mexico. He remarked how fast the world is changing and how it will change faster in the next decade. We talked about how 20 years ago internet was just starting to be a resource, 15 years ago it was a minority of people using it for limited purposes in a few countries, 10 years ago it was mainstream in the US, and now it is mainstream world wide. Point is in Mexico villages where most people live in poverty and have very little, they all have cell phones, they all can stream videos, etc. For the first time EVER the entire world can see the entire world. Those in poverty can see the way those in the US live, the cars we drive, the food we waste, etc. Everyone is wanting equality, everyone is wanting opportunity. Education is available. Online communities are there to unite and group people together so they can have a voice. The point was mainly that the status quo won't stay the way it is much longer, the world is too small, and that the way in which this world lives will change substantially before our eyes.

Pretty crazy. That for the entirety of human history change happened relatively slowly, and usually only in little ways as the underlying patterns took hold. And to think we can watch it all flip, twist, and fold around like a kaleidoscope practically in real time, in ways that it never has before. Very tripped out.

So yes, it is painful to go through the loss of divorce. And it's easy to see some things that are lost in our society as this shifting occurs. But it isn't bad. If it's not all good, it is necessary, inevitable. And whatever happens, the overlying pattern will be that things will shift in ways that are best for ALL people, and for mother Earth. And that is a good thing. Sure it stinks to bear the brunt of a loss of family caused in part by society's abandonment of traditional values. But it stinks more for someone in a third world country to lose their child because of lack of medical care. So if things can trend towards a better world for all, and I hope they do, then I will look at my suffering as a necessary contribution to that end.

OK, world, I am working on forgiving you for the pain I've endured. I'll go back to owning my part in the breakdown, trying to make my contribution overall and to my children the best I can make it, and being appreciative of everything, the front row seat during these times not least.

Thanks my DB friends for your kinship.