My Story - the circular nature of causality

[rich4j]

It's almost 6 months since BD
Some days I feel like I dodged a bullet.
Some days I am fraught with jealousy.
Some days I am excited about a new future and life.
Some days I cannot accept the dysfunction of the dance we will be in for the rest of our lives while handing D3 back and forth.
Some days I realize I may be better off without her - though it doesn't feel like that right now when the pain is felt piercing my heart again.

How do I get off this nightmare roller-coaster???

Unfortunately the roller coaster won't stop for a while but you are doing all the right things.

It is hard to balance your feelings. Future---yes...it looks bright and is exciting..."I can do it, it will be new and fresh and better without my W."

And then the reality that you will have to interact with her for a long time with D3....

And that she is off the wall with the double standard stuff.

And the fact that she is/was your wife and you love (d) her.

No easy pill to swallow. Just that she has done the wrong things and you have not so all you can do is keep your head high and continue to focus on you and your daughter.

I have gone through all those emotions and came out the other side. And then I went through them again and there are events that have triggered jealousy, anger, resentment, sadness and sometimes I find myself just needing to cry. And then a good day or week of being excited about the future without her.

It's normal. We can't stop our feelings so let them happen and just do what you know is right.