WAH left 3 mo ago, has been adamant in course to D when he can legally July. Met with mediator again last week, we ended up talking about the 'real' issues' vs. asset crap, she recognized it's not her field and waste of our $ to talk there, he emailed later saying he doesn't want to return to mediation and thinks therapy more appropriate-didn't know he meant each of us on our OWN. I replied suggesting we meet with my counselor-he misunderstood, thought I meant for marraige counseling (already vehemnetly refused) My counselor can't even see us as a couple, but I need to clairfy that it was intended as a facilitated meeting to discuss the 'real' issues before signing away cars, closing bakn account. I got email from him stating "i WILL NOT go to couples counseling, our marriage is over and I have nothing to discuss with you in therapy."
i feel completely disrespected (as I did him unknowingly for years) and uncomfortalbe in his presence, as he's become cold and cruel; I also don't know if I can trust him. I am torn between being "collaborative and cooperative" and sticking up for myself/respect and slowing things down. He just wants to hurry this up. NO IDEA if there in affair, don't care either. Here's my response. He wnats to meet on a certain day next week. I cannot wait for DB phone coaching appt as it's so time sensitive. Feedback greatly appreciated:
"I want to acknowledge that I had understood previously your decision to not pursue marriage counseling together, so I wanted to clarify my last email. Given our discussion at the mediation session, as Linda mentioned, it seemed fitting to continue the conversation with a counselor or similar professional. Thus I suggested my counselor because he can serve as a facilitator for honest, open, respectful conversation that has been pending since December and perhaps longer. It was not intended as the start of couples therapy; in his particular practice, he is not actually professionally able to do that since I've been his client for individual counseling.
I am not available on that date, and at this time, I am not comfortable meeting about the material issues in trust before addressing the deeper issues respectfully. Thank you for respecting the confidentiality of this email."
