Why don't you come to your senses?

[2Times2Many]

Esame, BIL got involved (and stays involved) because in the beginning H led BIL to believe he was a part of the decision making team and would "fill" H's shoes. But H was deep, deep in the fog at that time. BIL gets his nose out of joint anytime H and I make a decision and don't include him in on the decision making progress. At first H wanted BIL included. Now H's attitude is more along the lines of it's his company, he doesn't need his B's input and he doesn't care whether BIL agrees with his decisions or not. That is light years away from where H was in the beginning.

bttrfly, awareness IS a powerful tool and what makes me feel even better is that I think H is gaining some awareness when it comes to BIL.

I sent H an "update" email last night and included the discovery in the desk drawer. I didn't make any comment other than I flushed it.

I thought a lot about BIL, the sitch with him, Job's wise words, awareness (bttrfly) and where I think H is at regarding the business and his B. I sent a separate email and addressed some of my fears and concerns about BIL's motivations. It was a calm, just matter-of-fact email with no blame casting ... more a "here are my concerns" email.

I had a text this morning from H saying my email was spot on and he felt the same way I did (in regard to BIL). He said (later, on the phone) he was going to confront BIL as soon as he finished talking with me. That sent shivers down my spine. That's the last thing I need. I asked that he not do that because it would just make working with him more difficult. I said that kind of reaction is the reason I hadn't said anything before now and I did not want to cause trouble between him and his B, but only wanted to pass along my observations because he should know what's going on in his business. H agreed not to say anything.

I could hear in his voice that he was angry (although I knew it wasn't aimed at me) and after BIL talked to him, BIL commented that H was in "some mood today." I didn't comment. I think I'll give H some time to process and cool down for a while. He knows I don't want drama and fireworks, so I'll let him come to me when he's calmer and wants to discuss this stuff.

This sitch has been stressful. I was raised in a family where there was always drama going on between the various in-laws and such. There was a ton of she said/did this and he said/did that and people were mad at each other all the time and who was mad at who could change at the drop of a hat. It was ridiculous.

I've always had an attitude of minding my own business, particularly in family situations, so this is tough for me. It would be one thing if BIL weren't an in-law but it's quite another when you worry you may adversely affect family dynamics no matter how necessary. It stinks. At least for now, though, H and I seem to be on the same page.

Regarding the baggie, I got exactly what I expected ... "It wasn't for me. It was for someone else." I had to chuckle under my breath. I accepted his response, asked no questions and changed the subject.

I'm so looking forward to a relaxing weekend. Then a two day workweek next week. Another facial is on tap and I'll also see the plastic surgeon about my nose while I'm there. Hopefully, I'll have some direction about that by this time next week.

Less that a month until I invade NYC!

My best to everyone.

2T