you have it pretty much nailed Vise except backwards.

When she has the kids she is willing to do things, but when i have them and she has free time she can't be bothered.

And yes some initiative from her would go a long way

M 37
W 34

T 12
M 8
D 7
S 4

Need break 4/12/15
W no ring 7/7/15

Separate room 4/12/15
Separate living suggested 8/15
W moved out 11/1/15