Ahhhh, the good ol' days of 2x4's. I think I have one coming to me......
I made a move, I don't know if it is right or wrong, guess I'll find out tonight or tomorrow. It was not one that I sat on for 48 hours but one I sat on for a month and a half.
I can put so many details, about why I did what I did, but its not necessary now, I just know I needed to do it. Random people, like my foot doctor who hasn't seen me in a while look at my face and ask me if I'm ok. Everyone does. I look a mess because when something won't get off my mind, it affects my functioning.
So, last night, I texted ex NG. I asked if we could talk. He said yes. I need to clear one thing out of the air before I am able to be with the both of them in the same place. I need to clear the air so I ccan be right with myself again and move onto bigger and better things. So, he said he might have dinner p lans with a friend, he may not go, but to give him a call tonight.
I am nervous as I can be. My intention is not to rehash the past. he just realized I unfriended him from FB.(he never goes on, but I guess when he did he tried not look me up, and found we were no longer friends) Asked friend why. I figured this was the time to explain why.
I need to do this. It may not have the results I desire, but I think it has been the burning desire to just hear what he has to say about his immediate new girlfriend, whether its what I want to hear or not, might bring me some peace and I can be in the same place as them.
I've held everything in from his except from that one email, which I don't even think he got. I have STFU except for that since we broke up, and it's eating away at me. And you all know how horrible I was at STFU with my ex. I did it differently this time, but I need to do this because so I can move on, get an ounce of closure, and finally try to enjoy this online dating thing, hahahaha!
I still have goals for my future, and I want nothing standing in my way. I know I am the one standing in my way right now, but this is the only way I think I can get out.
You can beat me up, but a little luck would be nice. Hopefully it goes smoothly, I get some answers even if I don't like them, and I can move on, and we can all be at the same place at one time.
