WW, My Addiction, My D, my new life...

[trumpet]

Update.

Wayward is, well, still wayward. Is angry at me, sarcastic, passive aggressive, condescending, etc. most of the time.

Got pre-approved, did some house/condo hunting, and after some offers, finally landed a nice condo. Close to the old house, so kids won't be put out - they can walk from one place to the other, since they're only a couple blocks away. Close middle of next month.

Work is good - best month we've had at my new location in 5 years. Other sales manager quit, so I have some added responsibilities now. Not exactly what I had in mind, but things happen.

I don't think WW will break out of her spell for 6 months or longer. She is completely dug in, $amn the torpedoes, full speed ahead! Honestly, she'd have to really rebuild herself in order for me to consider her now. She has some character traits that led her down this path, a bit of a rocky family and events which make her pre-disposed to addictive traits and closed off emotions. I still have waves of emotion, but the oscillations aren't nearly as dramatic or as frequent. Like a boat rocking at a dock, after the waves of a ship have passed.

I see so many new posts on the Newcomers thread that ultimately lead me to believe they cannot detach from the situation. They are waaaay too emotionally invested in the relationship, whether thru co-dependence, or being a nice guy. It takes time, ladies and gents, and seeing the sitch from the 10,000 ft view to get a full grasp on the GAL/detachment thing. Somedays, I'd love to have a detachment paddle and just whack some of the newbies with it. It takes the wounds a bit of healing, and some painful self-introspection to get there. Some don't want to pay that price; others dive in, and become better people for it.

Every day is brick in the wall of my own making. The WW did her own wall, months, if not years ago. My wall is to protect myself, and I know that wall with not help with future intimate relationships. However, every brick going up makes it more difficult for WW to come back as well. In the near term, it keeps me detached, and not crying every day. My faith in Jesus has become the strongest in my life. I feel the sense of peace that I was looking for in Him, and within myself now. Still make mistakes, still sin - example in point, had a text session with WW today that I shouldn't have done, but got caught in the moment.

I'll keep posting. Getting sleepy tonight, though. Jump in if you have any questions or anything to contribute. I still love to be here, reading other situations, learning and growing.