Agree with LiM -- don't monitor her spending, her calling habits, or her whereabouts. To do so is the equivalent of punching yourself in the face.

When you snoop/monitor, your brain will fill in the worst possible interpretation of what you find, and you will be tortured by it. For instance, you've done that already. When you saw that she ordered more sports stuff, your brain filled in that she ordered some for OM on your credit card.

Maybe she did that, more likely she did not, but either way so what? What good does knowing that do you? What can you do with that information other than torture yourself?

I've written you quite a bit today, what do you think about it? Do you agree with what I'm saying or do you think I'm full of cr@p?

Most people arrive here tortured, get some advice from multiple people, ignore it and continue to make the same mistakes everyone else has made before them, make their situation worse and worse, and eventually figure it out after a ton of damage has been done.

Do you want to sidestep all that?

Do you think I'm wrong?

Challenge me if you disagree and let's discuss it. My goal is to help you.

Acc

Married 18, Together 20, Now Divorced
M: 48, W: 50, D: 18, S: 16, D: 12
Bomb Dropped (EA, D): 7/13/11
Start Reconcile: 8/15/11
Bomb Dropped (EA, D): 5/1/2014 (Divorced)
In a New Relationship: 3/2015