Husband Walked Out- Need Support!

[Rose888]

I can't take any credit for H's decision to stay. He is a kind and loyal person who was (and still is) conflicted about the right course of action. He never moved out, of the house or the bed. There has been no affair.

That said, we are not out of the woods yet. He finds it difficult to want to reconnect. It feels safer to stay somewhat detached. He doesn't want to be hurt again. There is still a large chance he will end up leaving.

I understand. For years, we had a sex-starved marriage, from his perspective. I am coming to understand how deeply hurtful that was. I'm committed to change, but he doubts I can change, since my previous efforts weren't successful.

Because of that, some of the tactics recommended on this board don't feel appropriate for my situation.

What has been good:
* working with a counselor on my own stuff, especially handling criticism better and being less anxious about rules
* accepting that I can't control H's decision
* GAL
* avoiding excessive R talk (goal is to confine it to our counseling session and the evening following)
* being a good listener, noticing H, and being supportive
* maintaining our positive rituals, like eating breakfast together and going for long walks

But again, none of that is the reason H stayed. It's just made me and those around me happier and more at peace during this time. And if he does decide to leave, I'll need those habits to carry me through.