Need some help from the DB community! Crunch Time!

[cbtdad]

So W texts me and ask me to join her and neighbors for sushi tonight.
It's just weird between us right now. I mean it's just awkward. Without our marriage I'm beginning to wonder if we are actually friends. She has changed a lot since becoming and EMT and we have stopped doing a lot of things together.
My DB coach told me last night that we need to be friends again if this is going to last this time around.
I really started to think about that tonight and in wondering if this is possible
I keep doubting a lot of things in this relationship right now.
We are going to MC tomorrow and I'm not really sure what's going to happen.
I'm definitely having anxiety about it and I'm wondering if I'm actually going to be happy if she says she wants to work on it or happy that she may say it's time to move on. On one hand there are so many reasons why I want this to work
On the the other I just think I'm delaying the inevitable. If not now it just feels we will divorce at some point.

I'm going to play gold early in the morning with some friends from work
I'm also starting IC Thursday morning. Regardless of what she/I decide I know I don't won't to bring some of hear bad traits and habits into new marriage.
Whether that's a new marriage with my W or someone down the road
I know I want to be the man I can be