Found out 12 Hours ago. What now?

[LiM]

I'd like to, but it also keeps me knowing what she is doing and how she is spending money.

But it also means that you are not detaching and focusing on you. You need to find a way to get to a place where you don't care what she does.
Do you care what your neighbor does or what they spend money on? Of course not and your W is not treating you near as nice as most neighbors would. If you want to save your M, detaching and beginning to move on with your life is the first step. I know it doesnt make sense but that is the process. I've lived through it and see that it works.