I'm sorry you are having to deal with financial stress on top of all of this.
Don't beat yourself up over not having found a job in a month. These things take time, even when you aren't dealing with emotional upset.
I bet you will feel better once you bite the bullet and send the email. I often make things worse in my head than they actually are.
Me: 44 H: 44 Kids: 20, 16, 16, and 10 Together/Married: 22 years H announced he was emotionally detached and considering D: 4/4/16 H announced he is going to try to stay and reconnect: 5/1/16