Hi LiM, Thanks for the positive feedback and pep talk, could use it right now. Found out he started a separate bank account last week of April - he did send me an email May 1 asking for me to send him info on our monthly bills, joint and his student loans etc. I've been working on this today, it's something I procrastinate on since one of our issues is not dealing well with money together. There are a lot of joint bills that are owed and I don't have the money to pay for it all. Plus he never mentioned this new account or that he wasn't going to be putting his paychecks into our joint account. Feeling a lot of fear and trepidation about having to tell him need financial help. Feeling like a bit of a loser that it's been a month and I still don't have a better job. But have been fairly non-functional until last few days, crying a lot etc. Afraid this will make me look weak. I am feeling angry as all this past winter he was on a buying spree for outdoor gear, backpacks etc. and would just order stuff and never think to ask how it would work with current bills for that week or month. Whenever I'd have anxiety about it he'd just say 'well it's my money and I earn more'. So I have developed this primal fear of dealing with him and money. Trying to just get myself back in head space of acting like an adult instead of a left behind crying spouse. Feel sad he never even asked in past month if he needed to make a deposit to cover bills that were due, some of which are his etc. Does this sound like mid life crisis behavior? I try to convince myself that just because he started his own bank account doesn't mean things won't work out in the big picture, but feeling so cut out of his life. Another walk and some more Forgiveness is in order for the day. Any ideas on best way to approach this money email I need to send? Of course what I want to say is, well, I've been in a state of shock and really sad for past month so haven't really been firing on all cylinders! I looked for a new post from you but didn't find any updates...Did your W move back in? What's going on? thank you for all your help.!!!!
