So we were talking and she expressed how we are best friends, which I agree with. She told me she would love to remain friends after the split.
I'm at a loss as to what to do. I do not see myself staying friends with her if there isn't a chance to get back together. Is that selfish of me? Should I work on our friendship first, and worry about what happens next later?
If so, there's nothing to really work on, as our friendship is great. She said she is extremely comfortable around me, and that's part of the problem. I see it a bit differently, isn't that one of the reasons you choose to be with someone? I know I wouldn't want to be married to someone who I WASN'T comfortable around.
Ok, starting to get some pretty intense anxiety right now. I just got back from a quick vacation from Florida (which was awesome) and the reality is closing in hard when I got back last night. She's closes on her condo on Thursday. I know I have zero control over the situation, only myself, but it doesn't make it any easier.
At this point, I have no clue as to how to act around her. All I'm doing is hiding how much pain I'm actually in.
Digit, I know exactly how you feel. My W's move out date is coming up in 14 days. For now we're doing the co-existing as friends thing. Which I hate. She also has talked about how we make better friends than husband/wife...In the back of my mind I'm screaming, WHAT'S THE DIFFERENCE EXCEPT THE DANG TITLE!!!
I don't know either if I can remain "friends" with my W if she decides to not make an effort to reconcile. She's talked about it though.
M:36 W:31 D:12 M: 8/9/10 ILYBNILWY/"want space": 2/14-ish/16 W moved out 5/24/16.
Don't panic! You say you have no clue on how to act around her. At this point everything you say and everything you do needs to be very strategic.
You are at a very fragile point in this relationship and it would be extremely helpful to know what your next move should be. Feel free to give me a call at 303-444-7004 to discuss how we can best help you determine what to do next.
Cristy Resource Coordinator The Divorce Busting Center 303-444-7004
A Divorce Busting Coach can help you save your marriage, even when your spouse wants out.
Email virginia@divorcebusting.com or 303-444-7004 for more information or to get started right away.
Don't panic! You say you have no clue on how to act around her. At this point everything you say and everything you do needs to be very strategic.
You are at a very fragile point in this relationship and it would be extremely helpful to know what your next move should be. Feel free to give me a call at 303-444-7004 to discuss how we can best help you determine what to do next.
Cristy Resource Coordinator The Divorce Busting Center 303-444-7004
I'd love to talk with you, but I'm assuming your services cost money. Right now, I'm not in a position to be spending as freely as I'd like. Any advice you can offer here, I'd be greatly appreciative.
Digit, I know exactly how you feel. My W's move out date is coming up in 14 days. For now we're doing the co-existing as friends thing. Which I hate. She also has talked about how we make better friends than husband/wife...In the back of my mind I'm screaming, WHAT'S THE DIFFERENCE EXCEPT THE DANG TITLE!!!
I don't know either if I can remain "friends" with my W if she decides to not make an effort to reconcile. She's talked about it though.
It's just really weird, and I'm having a very hard time understanding her side. I'm trying, and listening. But I am not starting ANY conversation about our R. Problem is, neither is she.
Don't panic! You say you have no clue on how to act around her. At this point everything you say and everything you do needs to be very strategic.
You are at a very fragile point in this relationship and it would be extremely helpful to know what your next move should be. Feel free to give me a call at 303-444-7004 to discuss how we can best help you determine what to do next.
Cristy Resource Coordinator The Divorce Busting Center 303-444-7004
I'd love to talk with you, but I'm assuming your services cost money. Right now, I'm not in a position to be spending as freely as I'd like. Any advice you can offer here, I'd be greatly appreciative.
Hi DigIt,
I'm not a Divorce Busting Coach. Please give me a call at 303-444-7004 and we can talk about how we can best help.
Cristy
Resource Coordinator The Divorce Busting Center 303-444-7004
A Divorce Busting Coach can help you save your marriage, even when your spouse wants out.
Email virginia@divorcebusting.com or 303-444-7004 for more information or to get started right away.
My wife just moved out. It wasn't pleasant to see so much of our lives heading out the door, but if it happens, it is survivable and you will get through it.
I think my wife is already beginning to realize that the dream wasn't what she expected. I know that she woke up crying last night. She's already easier to talk to; she doesn't parse every word out of my mouth. I don't know what the long term effects will be, but I'm hopeful that it will turn into a positive step forward.
My wife just moved out. It wasn't pleasant to see so much of our lives heading out the door, but if it happens, it is survivable and you will get through it.
I think my wife is already beginning to realize that the dream wasn't what she expected. I know that she woke up crying last night. She's already easier to talk to; she doesn't parse every word out of my mouth. I don't know what the long term effects will be, but I'm hopeful that it will turn into a positive step forward.
I feel for you, I really do. Thanks for the thoughts. Right now, a lot of my house is packed up in a spare bedroom. I'm just continuing to hold out hope that things move in a positive direction once she leaves. We had a pleasant conversation this morning, so we are getting along just fine. I'm just continuing to focus on myself and trying to accept the way things are.
I think things can move in a positive direction before and after the move. My wife and I actually got along fairly well prior to the move. The issue is that emotions are so raw and everyone is so sensitive that any minor, or unintentional, transgression can upset the balance.
One thing I've noticed about myself is that I'm inconsistent in my treatment of my wife. When I'm not angry I'll talk and joke with my wife. When I am angry I'll talk and joke with my wife, but my humor is a little more biting and sarcastic. I've got to work on that. The point is that, if your wife does move out, expect to have some anger bubble-up inside, but don't let it bubble-over in your conversations with your wife.
