Your h needs to cut all ties w/ the ow, as well as being transparent in what he is doing, i.e., telephone, email and text messages. If he wants the marriage to work, he has a lot of work to do and to earn your trust once more. Taking him back over and over again is too easy for him. He has to do the work in order to come back to you. He's been living in a revolving door entirely too long. Time to shut that door down and if he truly wants to reconcile, he will need to find a way to do it w/you.
BTW, it's time to start a new thread.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
