feels like i am on a rollercoaster

[bigybiz]

champJ:

I wanted to let you know that I have been keeping my word and praying for you. As you know there are no guarantees. I can tell you recently 3 "small" prayers were answered for me. I'm sure this is because of the army of people I have praying for my W and I.

I've scanned your posts and I truly identify with you. My W and I have been in house Sep since early Jan. I think this detachment idea is easier said then done. I can honestly say it has not really worked for me. But, I have also say I've not followed the rules to the letter.

I think the 1st step is to not let her reactions/words/etc bug you. Perhaps you can pray and ask God to help you find some peace. Also, follow the other steps too.

The one piece of advise I can give you that I know works is to do something different - anything. It has made a real difference for me. I was a real mess when I joined the boards - but now I'm confident and so much stronger.

Change anything - it can be hard but you never know where there may be a glimpse of happiness, change, insight, etc.

So if you usually watch cartoons at night with the gang - play a board game. If you order pizza on Fridays - make hot dogs.

If you usually wear jeans, put on dress pants. If you shop at Walmart - go to Target. If you eat cereal for breakfast - eat eggs. If you go to Starbucks at work - take a thermos of coffee.

Small little changes will:

Change your perspective
Open you up to new possibilities
Will make your W wonder what is going on and yes she won't say it but she will notice.

I personally started catching up on house projects. It made my W practically crazy. I could see her blood boil and yes she did react badly a little and push some of my buttons but it was worth it.

So sweep the stairs, declutter, volunteer at a local charity, invite a neighbor over for coffee, etc - get to the things you've always wanted to get to and you will be surprised what a difference it makes - once you get momentum.

End of sermon.