I surely would have a sit down w/that BIL of yours and advise him that if your h wants to return periodically, then it is your h's business. I think your BIL is enjoying being in charge, so to speak, while your h is at the other location. He wants to look important and come across as not only being productive, but knowledgeable in all things. He likes the fact that he's not being watched or questioned about his work.
Your BIL has his own agenda and I would be watching him more closely.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
