Work is a good way to take the focus off of your situation at home. I hope that you are feeling better today.
NC is for you. It helps you to detach a bit more each and every day so that when you do have contact w/your h, you don't react quite as suddenly as you did at the beginning of the crisis. I think it's working for you because you aren't reacting the way that you use to.
As you walk the path, the rose colored glasses will begin to slip and you will see a few things that you tended to over look in your relationship w/your h. We all accepted the flaws and over looked things along the way, but when you step back and can actually question some of those flaw and/or quirks, it really makes you think about a lot of things.
In time, you will find a way to forgive him for what he's done...but it's going to take a lot of time and patience to do so. To walk around w/that kind of emotion bottled up will eventually make you an angry and possibly a bitter woman...again, it's not the right time yet because you are still dealing w/him and his behavior. You'll never forget what he's done...but it will be a distant memory, i.e., like child birth.
You are right where you need to be at this time. Live in the present and enjoy the gift of time. The future is far off and will only be revealed when the time is right.
Take care.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
