I'm just catching up with your thread, I just wanted to say how sorry I am about the way things turned out (so far). I admire how you handled telling the kids, you must be really proud of yourself. Sorry I have no actual advice on how to balance all those issues, but maybe now that he is out of the house you will be able to reflect on what works best for you and your relationship.
Take care of yourself and your boys
"There's nothing sadder than a conman conning himself"
“There is freedom waiting for you, On the breezes of the sky, And you ask "What if I fall?" Oh but my darling, What if you fly?”
