Phoebe, wow, I could have written some of your posts! Our sitchs are different in that I knew OW, H and I have children, and we were in frequent contact. However, when I read your posts about feeling shocked, blind-sighted, and how this happened right after several of your own personal losses, I can relate to ALL of it!
We had a wonderful M, we had fun, we talked about everything and adored our kids together, and we were very much in love. We had the same life plan. I adored him! I never, ever thought he was capable of hurting me, and then BAM--he turned it all upside down! In terms of putting the puzzle pieces back together because he withheld info over time, and if that makes reconciliation less likely, I would be interested to know why. Before I found out about the EA, there were many signs and I even got the neon-sign script "ILYBINILWY" utter BS/justification.
That being said, I knew my H better than anyone. I knew that something was terribly wrong and this was not what he wanted in life! I think that was why I knew he was in a fog--this was the opposite of his nature, being the kind, loving, family man. So while everyone was supporting me and encouraging me to move on without him, in my heart, I just knew he would come back around.
I don't know if that helps or not. Your H is different than mine. I guess what I am saying is to trust your gut, it rarely steers you wrong. I can look back at so many things that happened in our lives and family, and I can say now that my gut and my instincts--void of any analysis--were right on target.
Hope your mind can rest and tonight is a better night. -Blu
“Forgiveness liberates the soul. It removes fear. That is why it is such a powerful weapon.” – Nelson Mandela
