I never thought I'd say that but boy I was glad to be back at work. I was focused on what I was doing and it felt good.

I'm not sure NC is working as I can see no changes, on the other hand I'm not even sure that I want to experiment something new with H. I have my voice deep down which is telling me that it's truly over and done with. I know that there is no physical attraction from H for me nor me for him, so I guess it's a wrap for our M.
He came today but hardly spent time with kids as he started to sort out the garage (little does he know that I'm going to fill it up with more of his rubbish!). I can clearly see he's done with me. He has never shown any regrets ( even when he hurt his mum badly and I remember her telling me until her death that he never apologised).

As Inpain pointed out, the problem is him as it's his second relationship with kids that he has left. Despite it being true I can see his relationship with OW lasts as her kids are older so no pressure to deal with young kids. Now thinking back maybe H has really found his soul mate and that she is able to provide what he needs. One of my colleague had her H cheating on her and he has been with OW for 17 years, so I'm incline to think that my H will be the same. Funny as when we were able to talk 14 months ago, he told me he was done with women as he has 2 failed relationships but that he didn't want a D. I'm expecting it as he said he'll do it once the house is sold.
Now my view is why on earth would I like to be back with him? I haven't forgiven and I certainly can't forget! If Iook back I think that as soon as our first daughter was born he was showing sign of being extremely selfish, but I was aware of it but buried my head in the sand. Wherever I read it always says that things happen for a reason, although I keep thinking that so far I have always been lucky professionally but very unlucky in love. Maybe I'm better off being single, unfortunately when I see friends who are singles they are suffering from it despite them smiling a lot, being cheerful a lot. I'm wondering what my job on this planet is!

Saw Mercury with the Sun today, It was very impressive.