New here need support

[CWOL]

thanks Melo. I have a question for anyone who has experience...for the S staying in the home and needing to refinance; when is the time to get the process started? I would hate to go forward with and spend the $ involved only to reconcile and lost the $ associated with a refinance. What it is the triggering point? W has told me she found a rental and intends to put a downpayment (don't know if she has yet). Plan to try and keep the home so that D7 isn't hit with so many drastic life changes. thanks in advance for any input

Poschan,
Have you started separating your finances? Where is the money coming from for her down payment on her rental? You should talk to a lawyer first, don't tell your W about it just yet. They'll typically give you a free one hour consultation before you hire them.
Typically once D is filed, there are automatic restraining orders from either of you entering into binding contracts like refinancing, etc. So you need to know where you stand legally in your state first.