14 days of sheer hell - part 4

[dream]

so WW plans to spend saturday into her bday on sunday partying with new crew (BFF bro). I asked if I was going to join, and she said that i'm not drinking anymore so I will just get upset that she would be drinking. I told her that it is unacceptable for a married woman to go out with other strange men. To which she said that it is BFFs bro.

You're trying to tell her what to do. You're trying to control her. You haven't detached. She's using your lack of drinking as an excuse to not invite you. If reconciling with you was anywhere on her radar, you certainly would be included in her birthday plans.

I know the waywardness is still deep, as she's saying that she made these plans yesterday when i never came back on time from lunch. My gut is to let her go, but how do i distance myself when I do believe that her going could be the last opportunity that she will have to cheat, before she goes back to playing a wife. I still have that irrational fear.

This is why you have your goals. DETACH!!!!! Focus on yourself!! You cannot control her, or anyone else. This whole time you could have been focusing on yourself and building yourself into a person that only a fool would cheat on.... but instead you've been playing games and "experimenting" with the DB techniques.

I am going to 180 it, but if she does go out without me it will be clear indication that she does not want to make the M work. I can't tell her that (can i), but those actions will speak enormous volumes. I cannot put in any boundaries, besides "walking away" when she returns on sunday. It will be a sad day, but something i have to do to protect myself.

Yes. This is a very clear indication/action as to what she wants. This is why her words mean nothing! No need to tell her what her actions are telling you. She knows this. She's been trying to string you along. What do you mean, you will have to "walk away" on Sunday? Do what you've been saying you're going to do. Your goals!

i think i'm being impatient but that would be the final nail in the coffin. Any suggestions would be appreciated. Anything i could do before then?

What does this mean? If she goes her to birthday party with you, that's the final nail in the coffin? We can't predict what she may or may not do. I'm feeling like a broken record here... what you can do - focus on yourself. What were you goals again? You said you've been nailing them every day... but this post says otherwise.