WAW moved out, spewing anger, trying to detach

[PsySara]

Hi SadHub,

I've been reading your threads recently and I gotta say, you're being really hard on yourself. I agree with the above posters, your WAW is projecting big time. Remember, believe NOTHING they say and only 50% of what they do. She says she has L issues (don't believe it) she says you forced this (don't believe it) she says you're a bad person with no integrity (don't believe it.) Right now she is in a delusional state where she has re-written the history of your marriage and you are a villain in this fiction. You can't use logic to try and convince a delusional person that they are delusional.

I will tell you a story of my daughter, she is also 5. Last year I got pregnant with my third child. I already had a pigeon pair so whatever gender this child would be was a "bonus." However my daughter wanted a sister and told me that the baby was a girl. After the 20 weeks ultrasound I had to inform her she was having another brother. This was the convo that followed:

SadSara: Guess what DD5? You're going to have another baby brother, yay!

DD5: No, It's a baby girl, I sad I want a sister, I have a brother already.

SadSara: Sometimes things happen differently than we thought they were going to happen. But it's ok, this is great, he will love you so much!

DD5: No! I want a sister. Fine, I now have a baby in my belly. Wait, I have TWO baby girls in my belly! I am going to have TWO baby sisters!! (add hysterically sobbing child running off to her room to be alone)

My point is this, just saying something doesn't make it so. Your wife is acting like my 5 year old daughter when she was given information she didn't want. I could not make it different so I let her go through processing the info and didn't react emotionally to her irrational reaction. Now she loves her brother and doesn't talk of phantom twin pregnancies. lol It was a form of lovingly detaching before I knew what it was called.