JksD, I highly recommend you go to Disney alone with your child. I was blessed beyond belief that my dad and stepmom gave us our trip for Christmas 2014, which we took Nov 2015. Grand Floridian, meal plan, park hopper, all I had to pay for was souveneirs and plane tickets. I told my ex when he left that I get the first Disney trip! However, years kept passing, and I never had enough money. My dad wanted us to do it right and not have to worry about money, and it was unreal. I was nervous about it being just me and her, but honestly, I wouldn't have wanted it any other way. What an amazing experience to share. We met up with friends and their kids in epcot, we met up with barb a few times (even managed to run into them on "it's a small world" and we got to hop into their boat! The rest we shared as mom and daughter. And guess what? You get the best seats to dinner shows because there is rarely just 2 people, so they put you right up front! I think we both will treasure that trip forever.
So, I have had a run of really bad luck lately. Everything is going wrong. I'm not kidding. Not life altering bad luck, but a contant stream of stupid inconvenient happenings that just won't stop. One of them was my phone getting water damage. It's gone, done and I couldn't back it up. Which meant I lost a lot of memories. I managed to email myself all the Disney pics before the battery went completely dead, but I lost a lot of stuff. Nothing was backed up, apparently. Thankfully I post entirely too many pics to facebook, but now I am thankful, because I can save them from there. But yes, I did lose memories and videos and snippets I was holding onto from you know who. It was probably time to let go of those anyways.
So, I am realizing I have lots of good things in my life, and I am a huge a$$ for them not giving me joy. I still cognitively realize this, but I am still pretty depressed and cry a lot. I make every effort to focus on the good, feel joy from the good things I have, but I am failing right now. It is weird when you cognitively know your blessings, but can't derive joy from them, because the things that are lacking are taking over. I know this is wrong, I know this borderlines ungratefulness, and I need to figure it out. I am sure I will at some point. I'm going to keep trying. Seeing my IC this week finally, hopefully she can help.
I'm hoping this is just a bad period, and I need to just endure it until it's gone. Jamaica in less than 2 weeks, I am praying that is my reset button where I can really take the space I need to put things in perspective.
