On to Part V.

[Sotto]

Hi TLEE, good to hear from you and I remember you from 'before.' Sounds like you have made much in the way of positive progress. But I'm sorry to hear that your W continues to be with OM and things are still painful.

It does sound as though she is pretty conflicted still and that she still has feelings for you. After all, she has tried to file twice and not gone through with things. Also, I wonder how OM felt about her coming down for a trip? I'm guessing things aren't all roses as far as their R is going. He is probably thinking - did they sleep together? - that's if he knows about the visit, and if he doesn't? Well, that's a big lie to have between you.

When I read your update, I thought about Rysinman in the infidelity part of the forum. He and his W were starting to reconcile last time he posted. He was also a military guy and she had an OM and they were geographically distant too.

For them, the texting etc. Continued and I suspect may have been a kind of security blanket for her. She would text during the day to see what he had for lunch etc. Until he grew tired of the contact and told her it was time to stop that. He truly was in a place where he was ready to move on. Soon after that she asked if they could try again.

I'm not sure that you have yet truly dropped the rope and whether she has felt that? I'm not saying file - that choice is completely up to you. But I am saying try to live 'as if' - draw a line under the texting and go your own way for a bit. Pour all your energy into rebuilding a new life without her that you are truly happy with. Who knows, she may feel and fear that loss - either way I don't think you have anything to lose at this point.

I would encourage you to keep posting and hope others will chime in with some good advice for you.

Take care xx