Me: 44 H: 44 Kids: 20, 16, 16, and 10 Together/Married: 22 years H announced he was emotionally detached and considering D: 4/4/16 H announced he is going to try to stay and reconnect: 5/1/16
You can't control her or her actions!!! Only yours!
M 37 W 30 S 7 Together 10 years Married 9 years BD: 12/12/12(W filed same day) I moved to apartment 1/11/13 W and S moved to MIL 1/11/13 Peicing: 6/3/13 Reconciled: 7/2013 BD2: 4/20/16 still working on it
I just really have a hard time dealing with her going further into the relationship (I don't believe they had sex) because I've gone black and am ignoring her, I feel like if I just told her I need time to start healing, and not to make matters worse, it would help.
M - 9 1/2 years 5/5/16 - Bomb drop - 3 week EA 10/31/16 - We sold house 01/10/18 - D Finalized
I just really have a hard time dealing with her going further into the relationship (I don't believe they had sex) because I've gone black and am ignoring her, I feel like if I just told her I need time to start healing, and not to make matters worse, it would help.
I feel (I know I should stop feeling for her) that she would understand me being distant doesn't mean I've given up hope for a R and that I just need time... I feel like if she thinks I'm done, then she would have no reason not to reach to OM for comfort, and she could use this time to get over him...
Ok, I just got trapped, she came into MBR and said that Son sees me ignoring her and he's going to start asking questions if I'm not at least courteous, I said I understand your concern but I need time.
M - 9 1/2 years 5/5/16 - Bomb drop - 3 week EA 10/31/16 - We sold house 01/10/18 - D Finalized
Man, not trying to be insensitive here but you are your own worst enemy. You are doing just about everything possible to sabotage your relationship, you have very experienced people on this forum basically begging you to stop what you are doing but you cant help yourself. Stop and think before you act and speak. Listen to these people they are here to help.
Do I just not respond to her when she's right in front of me talking? I'm just not sure what to do in those situations.. Should I have said something about S, like he will ask questions if he needs to...
M - 9 1/2 years 5/5/16 - Bomb drop - 3 week EA 10/31/16 - We sold house 01/10/18 - D Finalized
I feel (I know I should stop feeling for her) that she would understand me being distant doesn't mean I've given up hope for a R and that I just need time... I feel like if she thinks I'm done, then she would have no reason not to reach to OM for comfort, and she could use this time to get over him...
Ok, I just got trapped, she came into MBR and said that Son sees me ignoring her and he's going to start asking questions if I'm not at least courteous, I said I understand your concern but I need time.
Buddy, they had and still have sex. I am sorry there's no other way to tell you this other than being honest and straightforward with you. You're all going Wet Noodle here being afraid that your W thinks you're being distant when you should be A LOT more concerned about her wayward behavior. Time to reclaim your balls and get your mojo back.
I find it amusing that W came in the bedroom all concerned about how S would think....can't you see that it still all about her.
I would have calmly said, "Really? You could have fooled me right there considering that you're sleeping with a man who isn't your husband. I am not willing to live in nor stay in an open marriage. This is incredibly disrespectful to me and to our marriage. This is completely unacceptable. Get out."
I am now seeing W using her female wiles to get you to back down or back off so she can continue with the A unfettered....aka cake eating to her heart's content. You are going have to remove the fork: that is being a doormat Wet Noodle.
