Working on detachment, my anxiety, and the joys of limbo

[Phoebe]

Wow. I just looked back in my thread and realized that it has been 4 1/2 weeks since the disaster that was my last meeting with H. I had no idea it had been that long already. I so wish it had never happened. There has been almost no contact whatsoever since.

What prompted me to look was that I just had to send him an email asking him to check to see what happened to our tax refund. He said it would arrive by direct deposit, but only the state refund has showed up. I suspect it went into his private account, which will be a bad thing. I wish I could stay NC completely. I really have no interest in contact these days. I think of him and I just sort of feel empty. Sad, anxious, depressed, all of that, but empty.