I am so sorry. It's the worst. ... Have you had time to read the links that Cadet sent you? I would suggest rereading them several time. Before any interactions with H, go back and reread.
I don't have a lot of advice for you, this is an incredibly delicate time, but I will say a few things.
1. Take care of yourself and let that be your number one focus. This is hard, but the most important. Baby steps. 2. Try and start working on detachment and taking a giant step back from H. Try not to let him consume your mind. 3. There is no rush to do anything right now. No letters, no reaching out, and you don't need to tell him anything about where you are at and what you are feeling. He doesn't get that right now. Less is more.
We are here for you. Take it day by day. Breathe. You are in a crisis, but you will get through this.
-Blu
“Forgiveness liberates the soul. It removes fear. That is why it is such a powerful weapon.” – Nelson Mandela
