Working on detachment, my anxiety, and the joys of limbo

[Phoebe]

So I got myself all excited about going to a last-minute nature walk Meetup today!! The timing was tight, but I had exactly enough time to get those flowers and arrive in time.

I did my lightning fast flower purchase, but then, as so often happens to me when I go out, I ran into someone that knows me, and she started talking to me about having to put her pet to sleep. You know how this goes, right? I couldn't tell her I didn't have time talk when that was the subject. So I listened and offered my sympathy. She's a very nice person. Talkative. I know her, I know her sister, I know her BIL, I know the pets they used to own.

Then she asked me if my H was still out of town, and I fessed up about him leaving. I am pretty much unable to lie, even if it's in my best interest. Ugh. My big mouth. I regretted it instantly.

I know too many people in this area. I grew up here and I worked locally for a few years professionally. I even worked for the greenhouse owners in high school. I actually saw another person I know there, but she was talking, so I was able to dodge her. I like knowing so many people, but it makes it almost impossible for me to even go to the local gas station without having to stop to talk. Getting milk can take half an hour. Normally I kind of like it, but these days.... Well, you know the whole shame, embarrassment thing, and the local gossip mill thing. I'd rather avoid it.

So, great, I missed my nature walk AND I shared my heartbreak all in one fell swoop. It made me feel bad and it'll probably go out on the news wire this very afternoon. Awesome.

I guess I'll go deliver my flowers.