14 days of sheer hell - part 4

[DDJ]

So as I'm sitting here with my son watching the same movie for the third time this wknd. I'm relaxed, living in the moment.

I think about lunch, how anxious I was at the thought that me being late could end my M. What could my WW be thinking now. Every TM to inform her of my delay could be the next nail in my coffin.

Why do I give the thoughts that someone else could be thinking, such power over myself? Why do I need someone else to need me before I have an appetite?

If this is love, then I never want to feel it again. But I know it's not love, it's irrational, it's stupid. I'm looking forward to giving and feeling real love soon...

I think I'm falling in love with myself. Actually getting goosebumps as I type that, with a smile all over my face.