I also wanted to say how sorry I am about all your recent losses. That is an awful lot in a short time. Maybe some of what you're feeling now is related to that, as well. A grief counselor was probably a very good choice in your situation.
M 16 yrs, WH62, P54 3 adult blended kids EA 11/13, BD1 6/14 PA fall 14, BD2 2/15 Piecing 2015, BD3 12/15 Separated 4/16 WH moved OW in 5/16 Divorced 6/15/17