Hi Melweb, this is JMHO but as your H has been trying to significantly cake eat, I think it is worth taking comms down to a bare minimum. Definitely very dim and purely about child logistics. If he asks general questions about you, just ignore them for now - or respond to one in ten (if he's texting 30 times a day!)

Let him have the message loud and clear that if he chooses to continue a R with OW and live elsewhere, there will be no R with you other than as coparenting and that will be on a minimal basis.

I would say to have a look at LRT and follow the advice there - also, have you read much about clinging boomerang contact types during MLC because I think that's what your H is.

The main thing just now is to get settled, look after yourself and your kids. Try not to worry about any immediate plans to try and save things and let him drift about on the ocean for a bit. Just focus on not doing anything to make things worse and leave him be for a bit. The very act of moving out and having very low comms with you may well be enough to provoke some thought at his end.

Take care and I think you're doing really well in tough circumstances ((((hugs)))) xx

T 13 M 7
Me 48 H 46
SS 15
BD 7.14 PA
D final 5.16 (H filed)

We receive & we lose, and must try to achieve gratitude & embrace with whole hearts whatever of life that remains after the losses - Dubus