Melweb - Sending you all my support. You are handling all of this with strength and intention. It is the first best way to approach things right now - make your decisions from a place of intention and you'll be able to navigate things knowing that, no matter the outcome, you will be able to show your kids what strength and love look like.
You are not his mother and you should never have to apologize for making decisions as an adult. Of course this is incredibly difficult on your heart but if you can move forward with the business of life you will be in a better position long term to be a good role model for everyone you love. This includes your spouse because if he witnesses maturity in action then maybe at some point he'll try to emulate it.
As for telling the kids about the OW. You'll know when or if you need to disclose this information. There are merits in always being truthful but if you are telling them a fact to obstruct their relationship with H then you are ultimately contributing to some blameless people. Perhaps this weekend is better spent on steak, cheesecake and quality time with your boys. Hoping you enjoy the day.
M:25 years at BD w/ 2 daughters BD: 5/14 Separated 6/14 - H moved cross country w/OW D Final 9/17
“I can be changed by what happens to me. But I refuse to be reduced by it.” ― Maya Angelou
