I do think you should make decisions in your own best interests and those of the kids too. I don't think you should sacrifice your own wellbeing for the good of everyone else though. It is pretty unusual to have a sitch like yours where the W comes and goes and retains the family home as a partial residence and still gets to be 'mum' part time in the home environment.
And I do think OM moving in is a bit of a game changer. Yes, the idea of going out on Friday nights may be a good one. Maybe treat her more as a 'sitter' and make that 'your' time - finding a regular Friday night GAL activity for yourself. You know I would love to see you GALing a little more - maybe a regular quiz night or bowls league or bikes meet up - whatever would float your boat.
You could say to her. Hey we'll need to review things at some point. You're welcome to stay in this way in the short term. But let's face it, you're not going to want to bump into my date on a Saturday morning are you?? (I'm kind of joking....but you know what I mean??)
So, why not shelve the letter for now and make this weekend all about planning your new Fri pm GAL activity?
Xx
T 13 M 7 Me 48 H 46 SS 15 BD 7.14 PA D final 5.16 (H filed)
We receive & we lose, and must try to achieve gratitude & embrace with whole hearts whatever of life that remains after the losses - Dubus
RD My view is slightly different on this, it has always been my view that you need more space and WW being constantly staying in your family home is major cake eating.
Your children are older and can arrange their own meetings with their mum. Get out of the way of that.
Sit on your letter for 5 days or so, if you still want to send it then do so.
I think RD you are in a place where you can let go, I care about RD and the children. I care that even if WW makes the long journey home that RD stays in a difficult marriage. Frankly the fact that WW is depressed, living with an OM, lost in an EA fog is her bag. It is her circus and her monkeys.
RD deserves a life of his own with a loving healthy partner. I think the time has come and if not now, when?
So, if you feel the same next week, then send the letter. I like Sotto modifications, except I think it's fair to say you are done.
V
Freedom is just another word for nothing left to loose. V 64, WAW
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
