Lost at the moment

[sandi2]

Hi LFM, I hope you will post often and keep us in the loop of what's happening.

I confronted my wife briefly that morning and we talked pretty extensively for the next couple of nights. I'm doing my best to try and dettach, but admit it's been difficult.

Was anything solved from those extensive talks?

WW has indicated that she knows she needs to end things with the OM, but continues to let him in a few days after having those moments of clarity.

Here's the thing to remember, she has broken the trust in the MR. So now, you cannot believe what she "says". Instead, you look at her actions. Her attitude and behavior tells the true story.

For example, she went out with him this past Saturday, and let me know ahead of time what she was doing.

. Rather brazen of her, wouldn't you say? What was your reaction when she announce she was going on a date with her OM?

the next day she indicated that it wasn't as fun and exciting as she was hoping for and that she needed to end the relationship with the OM.

Oooooo, I could think of all kinds of come-backs to that little missy.

She did pull away from him for the next 3 days, and really cut back on the texting and phone calls with him, and was not as shut off from me. I

Again, what was your response? Not what you thought, but what did she see from you?

thought maybe a sign of progress. Unfortunately yesterday he convinced her to give him money to help pay a bill he had do and that seems to have opened the door with him again, and she's returned to the way things have been.

Do you know why it opened the door again? (Not that it was ever closed).

How much have you read about affairs? Have you read how it affects the affair partners brain chemicals, and how addictive affairs are?

I know from what I've read here that I should not believe anything I hear and only 50% of what I see, and that I should have been prepared for this regression, but it's hitting me harder than I was prepared for.

Maybe b/c a betrayed H doesn't fully believes what he is reading, or thinks his case is different. I'm sorry to tell you that your story is not an exception. The pain is more intense b/c this happening to you. Sad to say, this story is seen many times. We are here to offer support and share with you what works and doesn't work when you have a wayward spouse.

I'm doing my best to GAL, going to work out in the evenings, going to church, getting together with friends after work, etc

.

That is great! Some days, you may have to kick yourself in the behind to get out and do something........but is so worth it.

You have to intentionally seek ways to keep your mental attitude healthy. Don't watch sad love stories. Watch anything but sad movies. Listen to inspiring music, not that somebody's cheating stuff. You will have plenty of reading material, for a while anyway, just around here.

This will probably get worse before it gets better. I don't know how to tell you to not be caught unprepared, except if you will read my threads about help for the LBH who has a WW, it may cause you to be much more aware. I hope you will.




I think I've had issues with dettaching as I've realized I'm holding on to tight to the hope that we might be able to rebuild the R.