Si_07, I'm so sorry. That sounds rough. It seems especially hard to be in a new place and without an established support network. I hope you are creating that for yourself. Hang in there. As you know, this is a long and difficulty journey.
Since it has come to my attention that so many of you are reading here, I feel I should keep the thread alive. So I often think about what I can tell you to be encouraging or supportive. That's been hard lately because some things have come up in my own M.
I have made some poor choices in the last couple years and haven't taken the best care of myself. H has been on to it and he is scared. It's completly understandable. I think this is in large part due to when I failed at DB and when I still fail at it during piecing. I do believe it is a way of life. When I say that I mean, self love, self respect, breaking codependency, and realizing OUR worth and value in any R.
So today is a new day. I can't just celebrate that H is here, and my family is back together, and everything is rainbow-farting unicorns. That's not life. Ever. But what I can do, is do the best I can TODAY. Be patient with myself and others. Be mindful when I speak. Allow myself to enjoy the moment and shove all that clutter in my brain to the side. Just for a little bit longer than last time. And most importantly, when I blow it, I'm going to take note, but forgive myself and keep moving forward. That's the only direction I can go.
Anyhow, that my plan for today. Maybe tomorrow too.
I am here for you all. -Blu
“Forgiveness liberates the soul. It removes fear. That is why it is such a powerful weapon.” – Nelson Mandela
