Thank you again for your insight... I started reading your first post about your sitch and couldn't finish... Drives my paranoia even more. If my W left because she wasn't happy, fine. Even the OFP because of her insecurities, selfish, but is what it is. To leave for OM, that's pretty 5hitty!
You have an interesting way with words, your story is more like an author writing a book!
BD for me was end of October, so very similar timing to yours.
Things weren't great between us, I didn't imagine they would ever change, we'd just continue life like it was. She chose long before we met to not go to an IC for her issues. I didn't pressure her into anything different, it was her choice.
In July I pondered leaving. The female coworker and I were talking some. I knew I would never pursue any type of relationship with her, but it was interesting to talk to a female I could actually connect with. I have a feeling if W wasn't so ridiculously jealous, and allowed me to have female friends, I would have noticed the lack of connection with W and moved on long ago.
I am kicking myself a little, the coworker and I started to connect 2 years earlier... After that she got M'd and had a baby. I missed my opportunity!
One of the activities W and I used to do together, about 10 years ago, we met lots of people. There was a couple. He started cheating on his W. His W was cute, skinny, quiet, good at this mostly male dominated activity also just as my W was. We talked just a little, again I chose to not pursue, and I am somewhat kicking myself now. If I knew it would end up like this!!!
End of August I made a conscious decision to either leave or be happy with things the way they were. I chose to be happy. And I was happy. September was the greatest month of my life because I consciously chose happiness.
Some irony here. What was making me happy in September, was ME. It was not her that made me happy. I was loving life, even though she wasn't a huge part of it anymore. We did fun things together and with the kids, she had other activities outside the house with the kids, it was working ok. i could definitely return to that life when I get my house back... Will that be enough to make me fully happy again?
Sorry, went way off topic there!!!
Yep, I am getting good at torturing myself! I just can't keep my focus on being better off without her. The codependent thing I assume? This has been a problem for me since I was about 15, no idea why, one of the things I am trying to tackle.
I have been texting and calling people... Not compulsively, but only because they aren't always available, or work gets in the way. There is a serious emotional need not being met with friends and family. And a physical one of course too. It's draining!!! Any pointers?
1) Ironic you mention being forced to deal with this uncomfortable sitch... I have thought of that too, it will make me appreciate things more. But I've had enough with being tortured!! I just want some peace!
2) Glad you agree... Reinforcing my opinion on this subject helps. I hope to keep that mentality in my head more and more until it sets in 100%. This is another thing that seems like it will be fixed with a new woman in my life. But then I also realize that would be "needy," not a good start to a new relationship.
