Good job identifying some issues; both yours and hers. Right now, you've got to focus on yours. Her's don't matter right now. You need to immediately detach and ensure that you are not controlling, emotionally or verbally abusive. All that needs to stop today. Turn your efforts inwards and root out those problems. Destroy them. Its time for a new cbt. A cbt that is long over due. Now is not the time to start doing acts of service. Its too late for that. The time may come again when you CAN start doing acts of service but right now, she doesn't want that. Detach, 180 and GAL. You've done it before so you know you can do it again. Did those 180's stick last time? Sounds like maybe they didn't. What can you do to make them permanent?
Me: 48 y/o W: 47 y/o Together: > 20 yrs BD: Dec '15, then S 2nd BD: Mar '16, then I filed for D April '16: started piecing
