So, your W's recent decision (to allow OM to stay) has immediate consequences. She can't have her D to stay. Also, she has hurt your older D by letting her down at the last minute.

For me, I think if she wants to end the M, she needs to have some sustainable arrangements in place herself for spending time with the kids. From a boundary POV, I think it's fine to draw a line on her staying at the house and it sounds as though your kids would all support that decision. It seems fair to me that she doesn't get to move OM in - AND - continue to rely on you to host her spending time with the kids in your home.

I don't think that would be a spiteful response and it would be a reasonable boundary to draw from your POV. From the kids POV how then would they get to spend time with her? Legally does she half own the house anyway and has rights of access if push comes to shove?

I don't think you need to close the door on a possible R - though I think it is a good time to think about how you want things to look going forwards given these changed circumstances.

I feel the same way about you RD - you have been a friend indeed to me at times when I needed it. I hope I can be there for you in the same way.

Ps: what's PINK up up?? I sent her a message IRL and still not heard back!

T 13 M 7
Me 48 H 46
SS 15
BD 7.14 PA
D final 5.16 (H filed)

We receive & we lose, and must try to achieve gratitude & embrace with whole hearts whatever of life that remains after the losses - Dubus