I think you are still trying to control things that are outside your span of control. Focus on the parts you can control - you accepting things as they now are. You building a life separate to her, Your own fears about being alone, or with a new partner. These are the places where you can make a difference now.

Take care xx

T 13 M 7
Me 48 H 46
SS 15
BD 7.14 PA
D final 5.16 (H filed)

We receive & we lose, and must try to achieve gratitude & embrace with whole hearts whatever of life that remains after the losses - Dubus