RD Movin on 13co

[Sotto]

Hi Lovely, I'm sorry you're feeling a little low - though it's understandable of course given recent events and this too shall pass. My first comment is - is it the right time to be sending a letter when you are feeling low. I always think that waiting is no bad thing - until you feel steady and even - then you are acting from a better place. Your call of course though.

Hi WW. I wanted to let you know that the kids do miss you however it may appear sometimes Things (what things? This sounds very general - her? Your r?) seem to be getting worse and it's all very sad. There is nothing I can say or do (I think there are always things you can say or do) as I fully respect that you are doing what you need to do for you and you do not do it to upset your children. (Does this sound a little accusatory - as the implication is - you are upsetting the kids)

We were best friends for a long time and went through so much that it's very tough when that's now gone .

Your happiness is important and at the moment it appears your unhappy Please know that this won't be forever

You are a good person and cared for me through very hard times and I'm very grateful

This is written so there is no misunderstanding in tone or anything like that Please take it as a goodbye and and thank you for the good times.

Because of what's now happening in your life , we can't be friends and I don't think having contact is a good idea. If you feel you need to contact me about the kids please email me (so what does this mean in practice? Does this mean she can't ring you? Can't come to the house any longer? Can't stay over etc - and can I ask to dig deep here and ask yourself am I drawing a needed boundary or punishing here? (Not suggesting you are punishing but it's worth examining I think)

I didn't want this situation to happen. I respect that this is your choice and wish it was otherwise but life will be good for us all again

(Do you want to specify what if anything else you are going to do - do you plan to formalise the S and do you want to let her know what your next step will be?)

I truly wish you the very best in your future

Take care. Rd

A further thing that has been suggested in my divorce group is to say - I'm sorry for any part that I have played in the demise of our M. Some have done it and found it freeing, whatever the circumstances (ie: partners infidelity etc.)

I would certainly apply a 48 hour rule here RD. Really think about what you want to do, what your next steps will be, what are your motives and what you truly want.

I shall be Mum-sitting this weekend and Dad is going away for an overnight break, so I will be about and will keep an eye on the forum.

I hope this helps anyway and as always, I only wish the very best for you my online friend.

xx