Unsure of the next step

[DDJ]

Its definitely progress if you can see yourself D'ed. Instead of fighting it, you're giving up, still not that great, but that's a lot better than holding on.

I did everything in the first weeks (until wednesday actually) to hurt her. I wanted her to feel the pain that she inflicted on me and cry herself to sleep because she's losing the best man in the world. So do nothing regarding the D. If she wants it, then she'll do it.

Then it hit me - I'm not the best man in the world. I'm only a man, flawed, incomplete and trying to survive. Why am I making this about her when I need to worry about myself first. I would fail in every R i would attempt until i figured what i did wrong. Me. My WW has nothing to do with me, until I have changed and improved my life.