Life's a Dance-One Step Forward and Two Steps Back

[Sotto]

Hi Melweb, I think you are doing well in difficult circumstances. First and foremost, I think you need to accept his decision to go with no persuasion or reasoning - just respect his decision if that's how he wants things to go.

In terms of the 'taking a break' message, I'm not sure I would let him off the hook on this one. If I'm in a feisty frame of mind I would say - your Dad has been seeing someone else for a while now and has decided to move out. If I was more moderate, I would say - your Dad has decided he needs to move out. I think letting him get away with the 'taking a break' (this is mutual, we'll see how things go....) is a bit much.

I guess the main thing is getting a balance between what best supports your kids and maintains your own integrity and self-worth during this difficult period. What do you think that would be?

You may also want to say to him - I'm not willing to continue doing family things with you if you decide to leave the family. I'll make separate plans for Mothers Day with the kids. I said similar to H after we S (he suggested meeting up with S for an afternoon and I told him no - participating in family stuff whilst you are having an A isn't something I can offer.) He accepted that.

Him leaving does not equal the end of your M and so try not to feel hopeless. Some sitches need to go through S in order to start to recover. We none of us know how things will unfold.

Take care Sweetie xx