Unsure of the next step

[DDJ]

Fin, even if you're away for a few months, it does not mean that you're going to detach. Detaching is not about not seeing someone, it's about not feeling someone else's feelings and letting those feelings impact you. Our WWs need to own their feelings; the cheating, the lies, the consequences.

Get out of their head and stay in yours. Its taking me a while to get it. Mine might be out again tonight so i expect some anxiety but i know where it comes from and I don't fight the feeling. I need to feel it to let it go. Once i let the feeling go, I can let her go.

So yes, don't even consider giving her space, give yourself space - she is toxic right now and no good for you and the kids. Keep what you have left intact - Your sanity!