Awesome thought for the day, and very very true. Sometimes I have looked at what I've seen others survive, and I used to wonder how they even get out of bed every morning. Now I understand a bit more. It's what we have to do to survive.
Your nightmare was bad, Painter, but the dream you mentioned this time is so much more painful. I cringed on your behalf. Ouch. Did that really happen, or was it just in the dream?
I think that the intermittent rewards can be the very damaging. The hope that we will get a better result next time keeps us coming back for more, just to check if anything has changed. That's kind of what I was getting from my H while I was still doing the email Questions for Couples with him. He'd throw me a "My goal for this year is to work on our marriage," or an "I think you're very attractive!," and I'd feel reassured and keep going back for more. Then once I saw him in person it was just so much worse. Now, in addition to those hopeful words, I had a hug or a kiss from the man I loved so much, even if he then slept in another room, or left again a day later. It was worse than nothing. It's a miserable way to treat someone, really... cruel and confusing and too much like dangling an unattainable carrot in front of them.
You sound like you are really liking your new town, and all the things that you can do there now. It's great that you post to FB. You've got lots of things to share with your friends. Just don't post anything with him in mind. You're getting your own life, without him in it, thank-you-very-much.
H: 44, Me: 45 Married: 20 y Together: 25 y no kids Walk away: 12/15 Asked for temp separation 12/25/15 PA confirmed 3/16 (apparently neither the first, nor the last PA he has had) H filed for D 5/16
