My Story - the circular nature of causality

[1gr8dad]

I've been a little up and down lately. Please help, I need some 2x4's probably and some DB love

I think reviewing all the financials now that I had to submit disclosure, seeing all our vacation expenses, and also seeing my WW's spending habits is messing with my head. It's obvious she was taking someone out to lunch on the regular; no doubt her boss who was broke from his own divorce.

In 2015 there are over 40 credit card entries for lunch meals with amounts that would cover 2 people. I didn't even look into 2014 because that's not needed for financial disclosure.


I had a parenting counselling meeting today with WW to discuss how we split our D3's time over vacations and future summer holidays. At least I don't get the puking feeling when we talk about how to arrange 1 weeks vacations with D3 fairly. I'll take this as a good sign I'm entering the acceptance phase. Without the detachment and going dark I don't think I'd be where I am now.


However, I wanted to raise the nasty note WW sent be about involving D3 in GAL. WW got distressed and silently angry when I raised this issue today.

I love the double standard: WW is in a secret affair with her boss, they bring D3 over to each other's places to have play-dates according to my daughter.

She then has the gall to tell the councillor she can't believe that I'm already introducing other people (friends and their kids from my meetup group) into HER daughter's life. And she starts to cry.

The councillor didn't see any issue with what I was doing since it is always public places we go to and in a group.

Of course WW is playing house with her OM and D3 and OM's D8 while I hear about it from the sidelines. I was so tempted to expose that there but I knew my WW would just say he's a friend who's been around already in D3's life for some time now. Lol.


I guess I need to detach more to not let this stuff get to me.


It's almost 6 months since BD
Some days I feel like I dodged a bullet.
Some days I am fraught with jealousy.
Some days I am excited about a new future and life.
Some days I cannot accept the dysfunction of the dance we will be in for the rest of our lives while handing D3 back and forth.
Some days I realize I may be better off without her - though it doesn't feel like that right now when the pain is felt piercing my heart again.

How do I get off this nightmare roller-coaster???