Hey, IP. You've been so kind to drop in and check on me- I thought I'd return the favor. I can see how much stronger you are in your posts![/quote
Ciluzen, hi! I am so happy to hear from you on my thread again, I've missed you!
[quote=Ciluzen]
It might be time to get tough. Do you think you are ready?
Am I ready? I'm not sure, but I do know that I have had enough of the situation as it stands, so I guess that makes me ready!
Originally Posted By: Ciluzen
Go ahead and do the "dirty work" as your mum said. So he files for D and blames you. "Pushing him" to not be a lump in the chair and actually step up to being a parent isn't really legit grounds for D. Anyway, how is that so different than now? He'll still have a schedule and have to support his family. The gestures of doing the workbook and "dating" must mean something to him or he wouldn't even attempt it. Setting up a schedule and not being a doormat might just wake up the respect for you that he seems to be missing. Of course he might lash out like a spoiled brat forced to clean his room first, but what have you got to lose? Him?
You are right, nothing will really change if I do 'push' other than I will stop being a doormat and he will no longer be able to cake eat. I also think you're right about the workbook and 'dating', I think they do mean something to him, but I just do not like his half-heartedness towards them. I really do think I deserve better than someone who cannot make up his mind about me in 6 months despite me being the mother of his children!
Originally Posted By: Ciluzen
I, personally, would love to see you take the reins in this situation and drive HIS cart for a bit. I think you are strong enough.
I really want to Ciluzen, I think about it constantly and I think the problem I have is that I'm not really sure how to do it but it still be in a DBing way - or maybe there isn't such a thing as doing it in a DBing way. It will be 6 months on Monday since he walked out and I am ready for a change in circumstances. He calls all the shots and the kids and I just dance to his tune. I need to change that!
